my first thought

Posted: January 1, 2011 in story over coffee
Tags: , , ,

I woke up very late on this first day of the year, it’s 12 already and was a bit confused that I found myself not on my own bed (oh no worries  it’s not any guy’s bed :p) I fell asleep after counting down to the new year and having somewhat quite festive new year’s eve with good companies and of course a good food too. Then I didn’t remember anything.

But however late I woke up was, the first thing in my mind was still him. I know it’s bad, it’s a new year already and I still can not get over this thing. The pain is not as serious as before but of course it remains the damage. I really don’t want to start this first day of the  year with crying, because however often I do that or how terrible weep I had, I can not make him mine. But yet I weeped a bit.

So I dragged my feet, making a cup of coffee, a real strong one and sat back to think, what am I gonna do. I checked my cellphone and found some textes from some guys asking me out for this and that. It’s all directly to be deleted. Let alone the phone ringing and ringing.

Anyway, I deal with my self that I have to deal with the past, however good it was, let it stay in the past, I can not grab it along to where I stand now. And however bad it was, I passed it anyway. And it’s still him the first time I think when I wake up and still him I think the last before I sleep, and I should deal with it too.

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