Archive for March, 2012

whose date didn’t show up

Posted: March 30, 2012 in my black coffee

Then you called me out of the blue. I stared the LCD of my cellphone and your name was blinking and so was your picture on it. I was just back from my harsh traveling abroad, so it took me by surprised to finally see your name again on my cell. It was you as I recognize the voice. Sweet, I defined. I don’t know it was about your voice or about the way you called me. And our conversation ranging from our recent activities, life between traveling, journals, exams and thesis which ended up that you’re gonna come down to see me on Sunday. I will call you, you said. I smiled widely, from ear to ear.

When we finally hang up the phone, i still stared the phone for a moment, was it you? are we gonna see each other after what all have done? And from then, Sunday was like a thousand days to go, instead of one and a half day, only. And I barely hide my smile every time I think about you. I buzzed my best friend, telling her how my heart was drumming. I didn’t really think about how it supposed to be, until the D-day, I found myself busy cleaning the room and put everything back in order. Changed the bed sheet, threw out the garbage, put on the fragrance and being satisfied with the result. I didn’t check my cellphone the whole day cause I know you’re kinda nightly owl, which most likely out from your nest after dinner. In the mean time I talked to my 2 best friends and had a joke over it.

Time creeping slowly to 7 PM. And I started prepare myself, a hairdo done and I put a little make up. A light natural loose powder, a thin line of eyeliner, a red lipstick which later I wiped off, I don’t want to look so provoking.  Then I put on my black thin stockings, over my black underwear. I guess it’s okay to look a little bit sexy tonight without showing too much skin. And my decision went to a simple red dress, because red and black never fail. I put on my flat red shoes. I felt good, I looked good. No, I looked amazing instead. And lastly, I sprayed on the perfume, had a last look on a mirror, I smiled to see myself in the mirror. I looked at my wrist watch, it’s 8:30, then continued looking at my cellphone, in case I missed your phone call. It was nothing. Don’t worry, I calmed myself down, you will call later, the night still young. The clock stroke to 9:00. Still nothing on my cell, I turned on the computer, tried to buzz my 2 best friends, one is in the part of the world which is 6 hours earlier from my place, another is 6 hours later. They were nowhere to be found. One must had been sleeping as I checked my watch, it’s already after midnight there, One was out for Sunday shopping, it was only afternoon at her place. I left some offline messages anyway. The panic strucked, I was numb and hold as much as possible my tears to fall down. Don’t cry, I told myself,  remember, your mascara is not a waterproof one. Remember, your date will probably call later and you would not want to be seen with ruined mascara on your face. I sent a few lines of messages to his chat device, he was to be seen online though with “away” icon. No reply. I sent again after 1 hour, again  no reply.

My best friend finally online. Hugging me virtually, saying ” I have read all your messages, I am sorry but I believe you look incredibly amazing tonight”. I do, I replied, tried to smile. And she tried to cheer me up talking about nothing and everything. My smile was vanished. It’s the feeling of being hurt and being stupid at the same time. I gave a glance to my cellphone, once again, it was 12:00, and still no sign of your phone call. And I finally felt my tears fell to my cheeks, slowly and painfully. The mascara went out along with my tears. Then, I told my best friend, “darling, I am going to sleep, surely he will not call, it’s already midnight by the way”. She was silent awhile and said, “go sleep, babe, it’s a pity that he missed your amazing look tonight and to let you know, I will buy you a water proof mascara”. I laughed all my heart out, how sweet my best friend is. And again we hugged each other virtually before I cut out the connection. And went to bed, with all the ruined mascara and the make up. Hurt. Even hurt you more, when you are on your best look to show to your special one, but he doesn’t bother to show up, not also his phone call.

..

another same story from my best friend

are you strong enough?

Posted: March 28, 2012 in story over coffee

I recently read this blog, it was the suggestion from other traveler girls that I found in the morning in my twitter. It’s a nice way of describing about how worthed dating a girl who travels. I mean how simple we are as a human being, of course we don’t sweat out a small thing. And we don’t do drama to make people pay attention for us. The worst things we have seen during travels make us appreciate life more and of course people in it. I love the way when she described “a girl who travels has developed a higher appreciation for life. She won’t judge you or pressure you to do things you don’t want to do. She knows too much about the importance of identity and self-efficacy”.

But maybe i have a little disagreement about how easy to date a girl who travels. Well, of course we don’t ask for expensive gifts. It’s not our first concern. But for guys who want to date a girl who travels, you have to be very tough or a real strong one. Because you have to deal with the distance that we know it’s not easy to bear and the longing feeling which even harder to bear. I mean, I know it’s not easy to be always separated from the person you care about, the person you love. And when you have one destination, she probably has another. But there are always something that we can discuss about and to find the solution. Because a girl who travels, she actually has the ability to adapt and to deal with different perspectives. In the end, it’s the matter of you guys being tough enough to fight to keep the girl who travels or not.  So, Guys.. are you strong enough to date and later to keep us?

dear you

Posted: March 7, 2012 in my black coffee

dear you

I miss you …

me

*and the song from the radio was like mocking at me when it’s singing “i wanna wake up where you are..” ah well…

maybe …

Posted: March 3, 2012 in my black coffee

… maybe they were born without the hearts, and they are only walking off the earth without the feelings, and they put the brains between theirs legs, for the sake of fun, they say… and the search of happiness …

and i am writing for the search of my sanity, and that is all the matter … or maybe simply to survive …

at the lowest point

Posted: March 1, 2012 in my black coffee

Being hurt and broken hearted and at the same time so far away from where you belong and also the family was not here beside you, and all the up coming exams and the pressure feelings.  You find yourself crying in the middle of the nights or under the shower, you have no idea which prayer you have spoken to, whether to mend the broken hearted or to not fail in the exams. But most importantly you pray to be still sane, at least. Cause there is nothing harder when you are at the lowest point of your life  and you are thousand miles away from the people you care about, yes the family, Mom. When you tried to talk over the phone but there was no sound coming out from your mouth, but only tears until the phone-line finally cut off for the credit is over.

Mom, wish to say, I am okay, or to be precised, I will be okay. Just need time to survive, either by remembering or by forgetting. Both is not easy.

dialetto

Posted: March 1, 2012 in my black coffee

Fevraru , curtu e amaru; marzu è pacciu ..

U bonu pigghiatillu ca u malu veni sulu

se non siete calabresi, non mi capite, che scrivo in dialetto ..