Archive for April, 2012

Global Citizen

Posted: April 19, 2012 in story over coffee

Today, my best friend made me realize again that we are global citizens. Despite of how far we have been from our home countries, it’s also because we have bunch of people who love us over the continents and the ocean.

This morning, a friend who lives in the opposite of the country where I am living now, twitted me to say that she’s gonna send me a pack of food. I was surprised, first, this is not my birthday yet, the second Christmas already passed. There’s no particular reason for sending me things. It left my mouth remained open. She simply said “I wanna send it, because I just knew that you don’t find this kind of food in your place”.

And just yesterday I sent email to a person who once worked with me during the emergency situation after earthquake and tsunami devastated one city, back in my country, telling that I am gonna come to his country for some days. He seems to be so happy and tries to help me to make plan during my stay and also to find me a place to stay. While what I thought only to see him and have a coffee cause I don’t want to disturb him on his tight schedule of work.

At the same time my best friend who lives also far away from our home countries wept her self out, for her friend who lives at different continent of her, telling how he misses her and the time they spent together during their studies. Well, what more can I say? That every time I planned to go abroad, any of my friends who lives at the certain place offers me a place to stay or at least to have coffee together.

When I just arrived at this place, and still try to settle my self down, my friend sent me 12 sweat shirts, 3 dresses and the toiletries, thinking that I might need them. I do, actually, but can you imagine how thoughtful my friend was. If I continue writing, it takes pages of friends who scattered all over the world who loves me. And they are going to convey the love in any time which I never imagined.

On summer 2010, I did my summer job, hard I can tell, far away from everyone, detach from the place I belong. And at night I secretly crying for my hard life, away from family, away from people I love.  A friend of mine called me, at least every 3 days, asking how I am, to make sure I am okay. Try to make a joke over every thing. He has different nationality from me, but once had internship in my country, during his internship; we met and had fun on racing on swimming. Then he continued living from one place to another, we don’t regularly updating our lives to each other, I sometimes don’t know where he is, which country he is living, but at the least moment that I can imagine, he called and gave a big encouragement of living my life.

At this point, I am crying (oh yes, I am a weeper and of course blame on PMS) and also think, how lucky I am to have a lot of friends scattered all over the world. And however they always try to convey their love, despite all the distance, time and borders.

And quoting my best friend “we are global citizens and people who loves us are scattered all over the world and it doesn’t matter if we don’t meet them in persons, they’re going to convey the love in one way or another“.

And yes I agree with her, I am a global citizen and the life I chose is the life I am responsible about and I should not worry since love for me is scattered all over the world and as them, I will convey my love too in one way or another and again despite all the distance, time and borders.

in the absence of the sun

Posted: April 15, 2012 in story over coffee

It’s the time of listening the 90’s music collection. When I don’t feel like going anywhere, just hiding myself under super thick blankets. Rain is continuously falling, my coffee is getting cold easily and what I did was gulp it down in hurry because I am not into cold coffee. The next destination has been chosen already and it happened kind of suddenly as it always did.

It’s again the annual meeting (to tell it officially) of me and my best friend. Back to some years ago, I and she had a plan to sit side by side in the airplane to Europe, yet it never happened. What happened was that she left me first to Europe and I cried hysterically on the phone to hear her voice the last time. Then I planned to visit her on summer by working harder and save most of my money to buy return tickets, but it never happened too. The thing was, I had a chance to study in Europe in neighboring country of hers and popped up in front of her apartment some times on summer with swollen eyes and a guy 189 cm with green eyes. The next day we wandered around the town on bikes and later did a wall climbing. Not to mention lost in a small town, bringing everywhere our tripod with no chance to use it. We laughed uncontrollably, talking about nonsense. Hopping on and hopping off of the train, around the country. Then it came the time when we had to be separated again. We didn’t cry, we were too busy dealing with the airport officer of my over weight baggage. It ended up with her tying up the shoe laces of my sneakers attach to my back pack. Taking out all my cream and liquid stuffs so I could pass the controller. The next, I cried in the airplane. She cried too in the train on the way back to her place. It was confirmed the day after in her long email which already waiting for me to open.

And the stories about us repeat. The being far away from each other, the never happened plans, the sudden annual meetings, the existed problems. The life between truly living or struggling.

We missed to ask God to be in the same place but the good thing is; that we always struggle to walk, to drive, to fly around the globe to see each other. So far we managed. The world is so big and far if we measure by kilo meter it has. And it’s too big for two small girls like us.  But then we believe, God meant us to see each other every year, at any place that we never even planned about it.

In the absence of the sun like now, literally, surely it’s going to be a real good escape, to the warmer place. In the absence of the sun, since I and my boyfriend decided to end our relationship, I believe I will find back my sun. In the absence of the sun and the rain falls continuously, surely I and my best friend will keep on shining despite of everything. And we are now closed to see each other, close to say, yes we made it again.

“Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans” [but we keep making plans because it keeps the consistency of our dreams]

I miss home (you)

Posted: April 9, 2012 in my black coffee

It’s a bright day of spring season. I woke up early to praise the sun by jogging around the corner. The temperature was not very good to do outdoor activity, the wind hurt my face and left me brain freeze when I finally reached home. I kind of miss the sea and the ocean breeze, with the warm sunlight and the sound of wave. But maybe I just miss you, because all about sea and ocean bring my memories back to you. I don’t know until when I can miss the sea and worship the ocean without dragging my mind to you. Because long time before I met you, sea and the ocean are home for me to be back whenever my life got harder. I still remember how the sea never failed to cure my sadness, to bring back my smile. But now, how can I go back to the sea without having you in a back of my mind? How can I walk on the beach, because u left your footprints there? How can I miss the sea, without missing you?

Home is where the blue turquoise sea, once it’s said. Now, tell me, how can I not miss home?

—-

the cure of anything is salt water;  sweat, tears or the SEA

through a broken heart

Posted: April 2, 2012 in story over coffee

So maybe you just broke up from your relationship. And in your mind never stop thinking about why this is happened to you, what did you do wrong, what is your mistake and so on. And it ended up that you blame yourself for this happened and thinking that you are not good enough. Hemm.. please don’t. Try to think other way around and do something better. Like, maybe your partner is not strong enough to handle you and your big dreams and he’s probably not good enough to be equally the same of your wellness. And pull yourself together, give yourself time to mourn, but give a limit out of it. I mean, if you cry for a week in row after the break-up, I guess it’s normal, but if you find yourself still crying after 3 months, I think it’s just a waste of time. Well, I know it’s not easy, but I can tell this because I have some experiences about this, not to mention, I am quite expert of broken-hearted 🙂

If you think to mend a broken heart is to talk again to your partner, you can go have a try, but if after some discussions you don’t find any solutions, walk straight ahead!! Remember, what goes around, comes around, either with the same person or totally new. You just don’t know, what you have to do is, get a grip of yourself. And in the mean time, keep yourself busy, explore yourself back again, if you think you have a good voice, why don’t you ask your friends recording you singing, put it on YouTube, have a laugh about it, try a new recipe, do traveling, explore a new place. Be around with your friends, because your friends are the people who probably know the most to cheer you up.

Some people may suggest you to date somebody new, for me the idea of meeting new people is not totally wrong, but, if you try to forget your previous relationship through some dates, like going on a date after date, I guess it’s not a well put. I have been there, in case of forgetting my previous partner, I went on date. Though I wisely chose the person, but I know my heart was not ready. He was totally cool guy, a rock climber,so you can imagine how sexy he was and not to forget that he’s Spanish and a civil engineer who happened to take some classes in the same university with mine. So after a bit of flirting around and the “c’mon take me home” signal, he ended up in my room one morning. After some cups of espresso, we practically had nothing to do not even some words to tell. He went out from my room after lunch time, he mentioned about how hard his life as an exchange student where he had to be focused on his study but at the same time had to attend party after party, which I don’t practically agree. But I didn’t really argue, it ended up with the magical word “keep contact” which I didn’t find any lines from him to my cell phone or email on the following days. Luckily I didn’t wait. Yet, I still felt hollow. So for me to go on a date is probably right if you are ready about it. There is no use to do revenge to your ex-boyfriend, because once you really moved on, it doesn’t matter about what your ex probably thinking about you. Just remember that his part in your story is over, it doesn’t mean he is bad. What you do is just let him go because your destiny is never tied to anyone who leaves you. But always open your heart, give somebody else a chance to be a part in your life. Because we never know what life brings you. Just stop thinking about it and start living.