Posts Tagged ‘Holidays’

my first thought

Posted: January 1, 2011 in story over coffee
Tags: , , ,

I woke up very late on this first day of the year, it’s 12 already and was a bit confused that I found myself not on my own bed (oh no worries  it’s not any guy’s bed :p) I fell asleep after counting down to the new year and having somewhat quite festive new year’s eve with good companies and of course a good food too. Then I didn’t remember anything.

But however late I woke up was, the first thing in my mind was still him. I know it’s bad, it’s a new year already and I still can not get over this thing. The pain is not as serious as before but of course it remains the damage. I really don’t want to start this first day of the  year with crying, because however often I do that or how terrible weep I had, I can not make him mine. But yet I weeped a bit.

So I dragged my feet, making a cup of coffee, a real strong one and sat back to think, what am I gonna do. I checked my cellphone and found some textes from some guys asking me out for this and that. It’s all directly to be deleted. Let alone the phone ringing and ringing.

Anyway, I deal with my self that I have to deal with the past, however good it was, let it stay in the past, I can not grab it along to where I stand now. And however bad it was, I passed it anyway. And it’s still him the first time I think when I wake up and still him I think the last before I sleep, and I should deal with it too.

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good news or bad news first? okay, Good News comes first. That my brother is getting married next year, yes next year, which is actually 3 days ahead? well, Okay he’s not gonna married precisely on January 1st but yes on the year 2011. The bad news is… that I probably can not come :(But anyway, who knows where my life would take me. It could be back there and attending my brother’s wedding or I will be somewhere else new. I mean, as I know very well that I never stay too long in one place. My friend once told me that I am a citizen of the world which happened to be born in my country. Ah I wish I had an International Stay Permit.

and yes, new year is coming closer and I should have planned for my resolution like most people do. So it’s gonna be Macca and Turkey on 2011 and some parts of Africa for the work, working on my high skilled immigrant visa, if possible attending my brother’s wedding, finishing my study (owh i really am not sure about this) and the last but not least, to fall in love again (I hope it’s not hard) and I dont put this list accordingly, any of them could come  first or  last, it’s not a matter.

So let me gather up my brain and my heart altogether to work those things out. Get a grip on myself, so chop chop.. alot of things to be done..  and HAPPY NEW YEAR people…