Posts Tagged ‘introvert’

This writing is not merely a rocket science, I warn you, human. If you think your IQ level will escalate after reading this, please leave this page, immediately.
First, I will introduce who I am, not by name of course nor about my life. Its not that I am so happy to tell you about my self, but after 30 years and so of my life, I am delighted to have this identification, beside, this thing will be related to what I write.
I am ambivert, it is the person who is moderately comfortable with groups and social interaction, but also relished time alone, away from a crowd. #justsoyouknow (Guess this post deserves hashtag in one way or another) I am neither an extrovert nor an introvert. So, go to hell about 16 personalities of human that from time to time identify me as an ISTP, who stands for Introvert, Sensing, Thinking and Perceiving. (I know you havent taken that test, it does not matter anyway) I dont mind about the other three identifications, but being identified as an Introvert got me thinking, because I dont feel like belong to that group. So yeah, lets say I am very comfortable with certain group of people for some certain reasons, but feel so detached to other group of people for some other reasons. And the crowd scares the hell out of me at some points but at the other time, I will just say, fuck it, bring it on!
Speaking of which, crowd drives me crazy, because you can not control the mind of the crowd, it wont hurt you though, it hurts me, I will just over think whatever people have in mind, be it a good thing or a bad thing. I always wonder whether there is anything more terrifying than the human mind. This is why I cherish myself as an avid reader. Reading is my sanctuary when the world outside seems to harm me. And this is where the purpose of my index finger at the first place, to swipe over page by page of the books (after being slightly licked on the tip, of course). But then in the harmful life crowding with uncontrollable minds, the purpose deviates.
As in parallel, we all are now living in digital / cyber life. The young people are not able to maintain the eye contact for roughly 7 minutes during real time conversation without checking their devices (smart phones) let alone to respond whatever in it. Sad but true. I don’t whine about this, other people did already. However this thing is inevitable. And its no exception for me. I limit my self to only use a few of social media apps, in order not to engage my self a way too much in this digital / cyber life. I proudly say, I deactivated my facebook since 2012 and I can manage the temptation to reactivate. And I am not into engaging myself into other famous apps such as path which tells where you are, what you are doing, eating and who you are fucking with. I like to keep my private things private.
But the other sides of cyber things fascinate me, all the simplicity, the easiness, and the ability of knowing things remotely, effortlessly. Things started when the observation comes in handy, you can do research back home, on your hammock or even under the mango tree (why mango tree??) and you dont necessarily meet the dork librarian to explain your needs, cause you got everything in your hands. So yes, it deviates, the purpose of index finger deviates. Still use it to swipe though, but now digitally. The smell of books will take your memories to a wonderland, but you can take e-book anywhere for the sake of its lightness.
And of course stalking comes handy as well. Imagine stalking in real life will creep the hell out of people not to mention having the restrain order would be ugly. I remember my best friend had this crush for sometime and she likely to be found checking this crush facebook over and over in a day. She could tell that this dude had 114 profile pictures and still not updating his status today. Frustrating, yet unbearable. We probably find ourselves googling our crushname, trying to figure out who he/she is. Hacking his/her pictures and putting them together with your pictures on “how does your future baby look like” software. Once, I hacked my ex boyfriend cell phone number (hope he doesnt read this post) and bombarded him with messages from never the same country code. I did trial and error first, sending it to my own number and checked the IP address and stuffs, tethering back and for from the computer to the cell phone, because of course you can not make any mistake. I was one of those pathetic people hacking stuffs and stalking certain people only because I can and (yes) pathetic.

I am done with all of those now. Because whats the point of trying to figure out how the future baby look like by mixing up your picture and his/her picture? What about hacking his sperm and putting it together with your egg and do in vitro fertilization and be having mini you instead of the picture of future baby. Not a good idea!
But dude, I am here writing to actually praise the online shops. This is my new addiction (after coffee and traveling of course), back in Europe; I used to buy Indonesian food online from the Netherlands to Italy. Because sometimes you just could not take it anymore of mass production pasta from your University Canteen. How convenient it is   to only swipe your index finger on things you need and wait for couple of days to those stuffs come into your door. You dont fuzz to meet people to bargain / negotiate or even to walk in the nasty weather, no? I dont have to be in the crowd, Yay to that! Then you swipe more, from things necessary to the things that PROBABLY needed one day. (gotta prepare an umbrella for a rainy days). From basic needs to humm maybe I will need this bottle opener cause dude its 5% discount!!


Then I started download the apps; amazon, tickets app, whatever, you name it. Swiping them in a daily basis, like this is my purpose of life, the purpose of my index finger. Because the feeling of waiting for the stuffs coming like you are in your childhood waiting for Santa on the Christmas eve and I dont even celebrate Christmas!!

Back here, I found online shops are big business, they are everywhere, they use anything, and they are persistent. Instagram be like occupied by 50% of online shops. They sell anything, dicknity too (was it a correct spell??). One day, I found myself buying wig, I didnt know what I was thinking.


Of course I sometimes have bad hair day like most people do, but buying wig?? Was it me or my alter ego or my index finger has its own mind. WIG! yes that extended hair, and I bought a short one, whats the point?? Then never used shirts, lipsticks, high heels (seriously), more never used cosmetics, toiletries, traveling bag, more shoes, chalk hair (yes, I am this silly), pants, train tickets, plane tickets, more train tickets, and more and more plane tickets and oh a plastic press. And I know I am not done yet, and I just heard the sound bing! from my cell phone and I should check, cause this supposed to be the offer of round tickets to humm another wonderland, andiamo!*

*andiamo! = Lets go!